while i'm getting over the trauma the raffles trail recently inflicted, let's talk a bit more about myself.

the first thing that people say when they meet me for the first time (particularly adults):

person: oh, hi! what's your name?
me: uhh, conan.
person: how do you spell that?
me: *oh, dear.* c-o-n-a-n.
person: *face brightens* ohhh! conan as in: conan the barbarian?
me: *winces* yes...

this is usually followed by an uncomfortable silence, which either results in me:
(a) attempting to change the subject, or:
(b) trying to extricate myself from the situation.

neither always works.

and for people who know me, they know me as:
(a) a nerd
(b) an IT noob
(c) a halo pro
(d) a madman

now let's get this right:

actually i'm a nice guy. really.

and i'm normal, whatever anyone thinks. really.

as normal as...well...barry. no. bad example. nevermind.

don't laugh, okay?

one develops an inferiority complex after being subject to such interpretations for too long.

ah well, in spy lingo, ever the unappreciated grey man.

and if you don't understand whatever i've been writing, then it's perfectly normal, because:
(a) sometimes i don't even know what i'm writing. which, i hope, is perfectly normal.
(b) because i can be a very random person when i want to be.
(c) because whatever i've been writing is actually a secret encrypted activation key for an ICBM.

//the impossibility of impossibility//